Batwitgon is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, egotistical human.

Batwitgon created silver nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batwitgon, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Batwitgon, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Batwitgon's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Batwitgon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not shave your back.