Getgunpin is a god.

It takes the form of a large, amazing swallow.

Getgunpin created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Getgunpin, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Getgunpin, it will turn you into a tree.

Getgunpin's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Getgunpin's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

2. Do not consume nuts at dawn.

3. Do not fashion tools from copper.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

5. Never stain your face with red.