Bedflownil Basshothan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, all-knowing giraffe.

Bedflownil Basshothan created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedflownil Basshothan, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bedflownil Basshothan, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Bedflownil Basshothan's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Bedflownil Basshothan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Do not speak about coconuts.

3. Do not kill dolphins.

4. Never feed peas to birds while wearing red skirts.

5. Do not chop down trees.