Yamstanged is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic shrew.

Yamstanged created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamstanged, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yamstanged, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Yamstanged's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yamstanged's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Erect eight silicon sculptures of Yamstanged on top of important buildings.

4. Never mention aardvarks.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.