Bifhimweequamjip is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced hyena.

Bifhimweequamjip created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifhimweequamjip, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bifhimweequamjip, he will be very unhappy.

Bifhimweequamjip's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bifhimweequamjip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Bifhimweequamjip must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think about moons.

5. You must pray to Bifhimweequamjip eight times a day.