Zedpibmin is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, happy dove.

Zedpibmin created the Large Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedpibmin, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zedpibmin, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Zedpibmin's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Zedpibmin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peanuts to turtles while wearing yellow shirts.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never paint your head pink.