Tonkfunfub Vonyimvab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, humane donkey.

Tonkfunfub Vonyimvab created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkfunfub Vonyimvab, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tonkfunfub Vonyimvab, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tonkfunfub Vonyimvab's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Tonkfunfub Vonyimvab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your chest before prayer.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Never feed grapes to snakes while wearing shirts.

4. Do not name children after badgers.

5. Never speak at midday.