Jopbotten Bedbencuss is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, fussy lion.

Jopbotten Bedbencuss created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopbotten Bedbencuss, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jopbotten Bedbencuss, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Jopbotten Bedbencuss' most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Jopbotten Bedbencuss' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Jopbotten Bedbencuss in the centre of the settlement.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Jopbotten Bedbencuss.

3. Always wear violet.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Jopbotten Bedbencuss loves goats, so they must be honoured.