Bassawdav is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish dolphin.

Bassawdav created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassawdav, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bassawdav, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Bassawdav's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Bassawdav's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry gulls.

2. Always look after injured badgers.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near ants while wearing cyan jumpers and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your arms.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never feed onions to manatees while wearing purple shirts.