Fedbonfun is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, deceitful monkey.

Fedbonfun created the Sun five million years ago.

If you believe in Fedbonfun, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fedbonfun, she will torture you forever.

Fedbonfun's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Fedbonfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat grapes.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never jump near nematodes.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fedbonfun.