Narmatjig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, all-powerful donkey.

Narmatjig created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Narmatjig, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Narmatjig, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Narmatjig's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Narmatjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Do not step barefoot upon gray earth.

4. Never adorn your head with orange markings.

5. Do not gather at wells at dawn.