Gemcadnur is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, narcissistic tapir.

Gemcadnur created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemcadnur, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gemcadnur, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gemcadnur's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gemcadnur's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near dolphins.

2. Always help bats.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Shun those given to vanity.

5. Hide if four shrews approach from the west.