Xemdussnat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, awe-inspiring newt.

Xemdussnat created matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Xemdussnat, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xemdussnat, he will turn you into a duck.

Xemdussnat's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Xemdussnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven grasshopers in one place.

2. Never skip in the presence of monkeys.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never curse while facing west.

5. Always obey Xemdussnat's priests.