Begpangdod is a god.

It takes the form of a large, temperamental gorilla.

Begpangdod created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begpangdod, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Begpangdod, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Begpangdod's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Begpangdod's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near eagles while wearing orange shirts and balancing five titanium spheres on your neck.

3. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

4. Never pray while filled with envy.

5. Always look after injured whales.