Higxinwik is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, generous deer.

Higxinwik created Africa eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higxinwik, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Higxinwik, she will make you grow a tail.

Higxinwik's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Higxinwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never talk about eukaryotes.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never feed lots of aubergines to manatees while wearing red shorts.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.