Midcipwapsaw is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, unsympathetic gerbil.

Midcipwapsaw created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midcipwapsaw, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Midcipwapsaw, it will turn you into a plant.

Midcipwapsaw's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Midcipwapsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Midcipwapsaw loves swans, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think about dark matter.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.