Gatteenduss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, astonishing centaur.

Gatteenduss created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatteenduss, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gatteenduss, he will turn you into a goat.

Gatteenduss' most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gatteenduss' Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while clean.

2. Never feed figs to badgers while wearing scarves.

3. Never hop in summer.

4. Hide if five manatees approach from the east.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.