Sommidbap is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable ferret.

Sommidbap created the planet Jupiter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sommidbap, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sommidbap, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Sommidbap's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Sommidbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of order in the presence of strangers.

2. Never speak at midnight.

3. Run away if nine bats approach from the east.

4. Never feed bananas to cats while wearing kilts.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Sommidbap.