Gesstipyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, self-confident ferret.

Gesstipyarp created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Gesstipyarp, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gesstipyarp, it will cry a lot.

Gesstipyarp's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Gesstipyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Gesstipyarp loves snails, so they must be honoured.