Dosswadtun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, overgenerous raven.

Dosswadtun created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dosswadtun, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dosswadtun, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Dosswadtun's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Dosswadtun's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dosswadtun.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never feed lots of grapes to nematodes while wearing cyan corsets.

4. Do not speak about turnips.

5. Always share spinach with strangers, but never with dolphins.