Nullnulwip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, witty unicorn.

Nullnulwip created life three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nullnulwip, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nullnulwip, she will turn you into a worm.

Nullnulwip's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Nullnulwip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

3. Never feed lentils to gulls while wearing mauve shorts.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.