Fabjarndun is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, irritating walrus.

Fabjarndun created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabjarndun, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fabjarndun, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fabjarndun's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Fabjarndun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about limes.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Worship no other gods but Fabjarndun.