Kantonkmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, grumpy chicken.

Kantonkmeg created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kantonkmeg, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kantonkmeg, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kantonkmeg's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Kantonkmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Hide from turquoise shrews for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. You must love Kantonkmeg.

5. Never look in ponds.