Habcumfet is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest jellyfish.

Habcumfet created the Whirlpool Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Habcumfet, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Habcumfet, he will turn you into a rat.

Habcumfet's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Habcumfet's Holy Commandments

1. Gulls are not to be trusted.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Habcumfet loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always stare at clouds.