Gubrigshavlentigquamnib is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unselfish grasshopper.

Gubrigshavlentigquamnib created vertebrates five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubrigshavlentigquamnib, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gubrigshavlentigquamnib, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gubrigshavlentigquamnib's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gubrigshavlentigquamnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt cats.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never feed figs to great tits while wearing red ear rings.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always take life seriously.