Targbesstetti is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unsympathetic crane.

Targbesstetti created dark matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targbesstetti, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Targbesstetti, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Targbesstetti's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Targbesstetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never write about moons.

4. You must never eat peanuts.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.