Gessvenbonkvad is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, tiresome fly.

Gessvenbonkvad created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Gessvenbonkvad, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gessvenbonkvad, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gessvenbonkvad's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Gessvenbonkvad's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Never wear orange ear rings.

5. Never feed strawberries to voles while wearing hats.