Gofvigsat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, grumpy dog.

Gofvigsat created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofvigsat, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gofvigsat, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gofvigsat's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Gofvigsat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

5. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.