Flapbagpod Getquamlatbidlarp Baghamlid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, sapient skunk.

Flapbagpod Getquamlatbidlarp Baghamlid created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapbagpod Getquamlatbidlarp Baghamlid, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flapbagpod Getquamlatbidlarp Baghamlid, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Flapbagpod Getquamlatbidlarp Baghamlid's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Flapbagpod Getquamlatbidlarp Baghamlid's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Retreat if three sheep approach from the north.

3. Worship no other gods but Flapbagpod Getquamlatbidlarp Baghamlid.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near pigs while wearing red ear rings and balancing four tin spheres on your hands.

5. Do not cook food in pots.