Bothastonk Pidyiklin Lanyim is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unthinking aardvark.

Bothastonk Pidyiklin Lanyim created a down quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bothastonk Pidyiklin Lanyim, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bothastonk Pidyiklin Lanyim, he will send you a sign.

Bothastonk Pidyiklin Lanyim's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Bothastonk Pidyiklin Lanyim's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat whales with great respect.

2. Feed all hungry manatees.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never feed lots of strawberries to grasshopers while wearing red hats.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bothastonk Pidyiklin Lanyim.