Parklidvidmap is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, quiet swallow.

Parklidvidmap created a strange quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parklidvidmap, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Parklidvidmap, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Parklidvidmap's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Parklidvidmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of coconuts to pigs while wearing purple stockings.

2. Always store rice above ground.

3. Do not place nuts upon stone.

4. Always wash your legs before prayer.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.