Wonyikjopbim is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, boastful duck.

Wonyikjopbim created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wonyikjopbim, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wonyikjopbim, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Wonyikjopbim's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Wonyikjopbim's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Wonyikjopbim's priests.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wonyikjopbim.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never think ill of sick snakes.