Lentagmis is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, witty horse.

Lentagmis created parasitic wasps three million years ago.

If you believe in Lentagmis, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lentagmis, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Lentagmis' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Lentagmis' Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Lentagmis in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never wear blue scarves.

4. Do not hurt aardvarks.

5. Feed all hungry rats.