Gidbonkben is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, humorless snake.

Gidbonkben created a bottom quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gidbonkben, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gidbonkben, it will be mildly annoyed.

Gidbonkben's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gidbonkben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.

5. Feed all hungry frogs.