Yogfum is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, clever manatee.

Yogfum created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yogfum, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yogfum, she will turn you into a snail.

Yogfum's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Yogfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near shrews while wearing red shorts.

2. Always help horses.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Run away from fawn badgers, for they are unholy.

5. Do not eat lemons.