Bapflowvagfad Zed is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unselfish warg.

Bapflowvagfad Zed created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapflowvagfad Zed, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bapflowvagfad Zed, she will turn you into a slug.

Bapflowvagfad Zed's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bapflowvagfad Zed's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry hamsters.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Bapflowvagfad Zed on top of all buildings.