Matfedkenhog is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, charitable hummingbird.

Matfedkenhog created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matfedkenhog, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Matfedkenhog, it will be very unhappy.

Matfedkenhog's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Matfedkenhog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never talk about mice.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Respect your elders.