Fasgovlik Tonkliptofmotnar is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, prudent mongoose.

Fasgovlik Tonkliptofmotnar created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasgovlik Tonkliptofmotnar, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fasgovlik Tonkliptofmotnar, he will destroy your home planet.

Fasgovlik Tonkliptofmotnar's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Fasgovlik Tonkliptofmotnar's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fasgovlik Tonkliptofmotnar.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.