Yartbesstim is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unjust gnu.

Yartbesstim created parasitic wasps six million years ago.

If you believe in Yartbesstim, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yartbesstim, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Yartbesstim's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Yartbesstim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare bananas while wearing jumpers.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.