Mipvanhakfunquimwatsas is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, awe-inspiring crow.

Mipvanhakfunquimwatsas created the Andromeda Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mipvanhakfunquimwatsas, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mipvanhakfunquimwatsas, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Mipvanhakfunquimwatsas' most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Mipvanhakfunquimwatsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

2. Do not eat beans.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never talk about tortoises.