Hontarjen is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, impressive centipede.

Hontarjen created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hontarjen, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hontarjen, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hontarjen's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Hontarjen's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

5. Never look in ponds.