Laghubwod is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unthinking cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Laghubwod created the Sun three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Laghubwod, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Laghubwod, he will turn you into a rock.

Laghubwod's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Laghubwod's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always remove trousers before entering holy places.

3. Never laugh near geese.

4. Always help sick whales.

5. Do not gather at bridges at midday.