Afpopdam is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ill-tempered hydra.

Afpopdam created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Afpopdam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Afpopdam, he will be very sad.

Afpopdam's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Afpopdam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always treat sharks with great respect.

3. Never wear red dresses.

4. Do not kill badgers.

5. Never go into mauve rooms.