Hogjatlan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, quiet seal.

Hogjatlan created a strange quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Hogjatlan, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hogjatlan, she will not care.

Hogjatlan's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Hogjatlan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hogjatlan first in all things.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.