Tenkiknur is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, omniscient monkey.

Tenkiknur created the Black Eye Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tenkiknur, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tenkiknur, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tenkiknur's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Tenkiknur's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tenkiknur.

2. Tenkiknur loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

3. Put Tenkiknur first in all things.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tenkiknur.

5. Do not speak about tomatoes.