Giljipfom is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, omniscient hyena.

Giljipfom created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Giljipfom, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Giljipfom, he will come to you in dreams.

Giljipfom's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Giljipfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

2. Never feed lots of nuts to otters while wearing pink corsets.

3. Always help sick monkeys.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. You must never eat cherries.