Hamcat is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, contented fairy.

Hamcat created the planet Venus nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamcat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hamcat, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Hamcat's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Hamcat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.