Dagqueegbod is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, ruthless chinchilla.

Dagqueegbod created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dagqueegbod, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dagqueegbod, she will ignore you.

Dagqueegbod's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Dagqueegbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always treat doves with great respect.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.