Mutyarlpidtif is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, two-faced jackal.

Mutyarlpidtif created vertebrates nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mutyarlpidtif, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Mutyarlpidtif, he will torture you forever.

Mutyarlpidtif's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Mutyarlpidtif's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always wear white.

3. Always look after injured snails.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not commit murder.