Rotcubfid is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, grumpy wombat.

Rotcubfid created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Rotcubfid, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rotcubfid, she will turn you into a rock.

Rotcubfid's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Rotcubfid's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

2. Do not gather at bridges at midnight.

3. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

4. Always remove skirts before touching copper.

5. Never eat bark.