Gofditmif Quimsogcar is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, slow eagle.

Gofditmif Quimsogcar created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofditmif Quimsogcar, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gofditmif Quimsogcar, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Gofditmif Quimsogcar's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Gofditmif Quimsogcar's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always help mice in need.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Learn four new languages a year.